threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
