i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
