you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
