New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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