Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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