my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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