pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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