Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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