So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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