If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
