My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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