also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
