She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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