Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
