I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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