I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
