I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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