you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
