Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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