Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
