When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
