Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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