Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
