Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
