he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
