its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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