He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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