how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
