Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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