I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
