I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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