And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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