Do vagina's smell?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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