How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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