he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
