How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
