YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
