I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
