hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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