She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
