bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
