Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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