My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
