I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
