I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
