How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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