office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
