I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
