So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i will never coherently bang her
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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