Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
